Bad news...

My friend Heather has had a string of bad luck lately and said she's sick and tired of reading everyone's "happy, happy good news blogs" and she wants to hear that crap is happening to other people too. So here goes, Heather. This blog's for you...

"I cannot write my blog today,"
said little Mindy Ann Bidae.
I'm covered head to toe in puke.
And diarrhea poo of Duke.

I spent last night in ICU
With a sickly kid, thus the spew.
The doctor said soon she'd be fine,
And "about the bill, try not to whine".

I need a shower something bad
And that just brings me to my lad...
The boy's a terror, thru and thru
He hits and kicks and bites me too.

School clothes, supplies it's time to buy.
I think I'll have to hock my eye
Is there a market for eyeballs?
I think so, they're for use in dolls.

Oh and the car is in the shop.
Like I have an extra GRAND to drop.
And let's not forget the gas cost too.
That spikes each time Iran goes "Boo".

Taxes, groceries, electric bills,
I think I need my "happy pills"
"What's for dinner? What's for lunch?"
I'm feeding the freaking Brady Bunch.

Except on that show they had a maid.
I'd have one too, but they have to be paid.
I want an Alice to cook for me
And wash the clothes and clean up pee.

And wash the windows and the floors
Wipe down banisters and doors.
Dust the piano, wash the dog.
So I can sit and write my blog.

Run the errands, pay the bills,
Suck the flies from the windowsills.
Vacuum upstairs, chat with moms.
Clean up Harry's "dirty bombs".

There's so much I would have her do.
So I could sit and write to you.
But life's a b%$#@* and then we die
Oh, great! For that one I will fry.

So here's my grumpy, gripey post.
It's more a downer than are most.
There is one thing that cheers me up,
One thought that makes me perk right up.

It could be worse than it is now.
I shudder to think of how...
Much worse I'd feel if it were true...
At least I'm not PREGNANT, pheeuw!!!